There Oughta Be a Law!

Faux Locke might be amused, but I am NOT!

Tuesday was election day. Now I’m all for voting and democracy. It’s all fine and dandy.

Sayid seems skeptical . . . about the election?

Except when it ruins one of my favorite TV shows! All that red, white, and blue among the jungle scenery of “Lost” is so wrong. Almost takes the scariness out of not-really-John Locke! It’s just as bad as those endless robot phone calls that we get from candidates.

“My fantastic acting performance is ruined by those results, Flocke,”

What difference does it make for us to know local election results with only five percent of the vote tallied? Or even 100 percent? Can’t everyone just wait for the 10 p.m. news to find out who wins? Why distract us with this nonsense?

“I don’t want to share my screen time with you results! Be gone!!”

Part of our Texas election process was voting for several propositions that eventually could cause changes to the state constitution. Here’s one proposition that should be on the next ballot: There should be no disruptions of “Lost” or “Survivor” or any TV shows I want to watch. Ever! Election-result scrawls would be deemed illegal.

Fortunately, “Lost” wasn’t interrupted by the election. If that had happened?

Don’t mess with this former Iraqi torturer!

The penalty would be unleashing the deadly smoke monster on our local ABC affiliate!

Whew, I’m glad that the election is over!

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