Dear the Mister:
You often ask me what I do all day at home. Don’t think I don’t see you eyeing the household clutter and chaos as you speak.
Do you really want to know what goes on while you’re slaving away at work so we can afford our lifestyle? This is the tale/tail of what my Wednesday morning was like:
As I was typing my blog post in my office, I heard a noise in the clutter near my chair. I stared at it (wasn’t about to touch anything in case it was an icky roach . . . hate those things!) but nothing was moving. Suddenly, I heard a sound and saw something move from the pile to one of my shelves. I wasn’t sure what it was, but it was big enough to make me scream and knock to the ground a tray piled with stuff next to my desk when I jumped out of my chair.
By the way, this is great for raising your heart rate.
Finally, I saw what was giving me the vapors: An anole was in the house. Usually when they come inside, we might see them on the walls. But this explorer decided to get up close and personal with me and one of my shelves.
The entire experience was nerve-wracking! Would the lizard decide to jump on me and send me into shock?
Of course, my first instinct was to call you, my sworn protector (both boys are working . . . yay . . . except when I need them for pest control). I believe your marriage vow went something like “to love, honor, and deal with household invaders.” I was sure you would rush home (it would take at least 45 minutes), vanquish the tiny beast, kiss my hand, and return to work.
Was that a pig I saw flying past my office window? Nope.
It was time to take action.
After about 15 minutes or so of watching the anole walk all over the shelf (in between rests on my Sack Boy plushie), I got a break: He decided to climb into one of the drawers in a small storage unit. I quickly got some wide tape to close off the opening. I was large and in charge!
The next step was to put the storage unit into a handy box for transporting outside. I did not want to chance being touched by my cold-blooded squatter.
Once outside (away from the house), I took off the tape, warily tilted the storage unit, and the little lizard leaped out. The ordeal finally was over! Now the hostage could fulfill all those demands for network interviews (call me, Katie Couric).
So that was my morning ordeal. And after all that angst and drama, you really couldn’t expect me to deal with clutter and chaos in the afternoon, could you? I felt the need to decompress with hours of checking Facebook, Twitter, and Yahoo news. Plus I believe the utter exhaustion of battle drove me to nap.
Let’s hope for better results next week!
loving exasperating wife,