Boys and the Dangerous Y Chromosome

My younger son demonstrates how to safely ride on a float in our pool.

This is the savvy mom’s definition of a boy: Able to make something that should be harmless and fun into something that is totally dangerous albeit fun . . . for the male.

Let me demonstrate photographically how the Y chromosome means not only an inability to pick up things off the floor but also a penchant towards peril. Starring the usual suspects plus our disc golf buddy Glen.

Chase takes his stand as my older son is ready to throw the big beach ball at him.

When my younger son asked us to buy a new, round float for our swimming pool, I envisioned the fun he, his older brother, and my “third son” Chase would have. How much they would enjoy lying, sitting, or kneeling on it as they traversed the blue waters. Sure, they might squabble over whose turn it was to placidly use the float, but all three know how to share by now.

#2 son takes aim at #1.

How long have I been a mom to sons? Have I forgotten over the last 19 years that “harm” is the key part of “harmless?”

The big beach ball is about to collide with #1.

Almost immediately upon inflating the float and throwing it into the pool, one son proceeded to stand on it while the other tried to knock him off with our huge beach ball. Meanwhile, the Mister and I watched in horror as the son on the inflatable drifted near the edge of the pool or the waterfall’s rocks with the ball about to hit him and possibly knock him backwards. Then they would switch places and continue this madness over and over again.

This has been their favorite game so far this summer. “No blood in the pool!” has become my mantra.

My older son’s throw is on its way towards Glen.

That dangerous Y doesn’t end at adulthood, by the way. Glen, who is like a big kid, had to get in on the whack-a-guy-off-the-float action when he and his family visited recently.

Thar he goes (much to the #2 son’s delight)!

I have to admit that Glen’s fall into the pool was pretty funny.

Incoming!

Fortunately, he was nowhere near the pool edge or rocks.

I had hoped that with my sons getting older that I wouldn’t have to watch them constantly when they’re in the pool, but I still find myself pulling up a chair and making sure they stay near the middle of the water.

Thank you, Y chromosome, for reality-slapping me in the face once again!

Pool Fun

My younger son prepares to lift his older brother.

Now that our pool has water in it again, my sons have enjoyed cooling off in it. And pretending it’s a water park.

We have lift-off!

When we put in the pool nine years ago and the boys were younger and lighter, the Mister used to act like a ride at Schlitterbahn and lift them up in their tubes and toss them from the shallow to the deep end. Our sons loved it!

#2 is about to launch #1 towards the deep end.

And I loved that unlike the real water park, there wasn’t an excessive amount of tattoos and a distinct and undesirable lack of enough bathing suit material on people who really need to cover up as much as possible. The real Schlitterbahn is not a visual feast. Ugh!

Splash down!

These days the strongest member of our family seems to be our almost 16-year-old son (his birthday is Wednesday!). He’s taken over for his father when it comes to being the best Schlitterbahn ride, with his older brother being the beneficiary.

My #1 son enjoyed his brief ride.

After launching his brother into the air a number of times, my younger teen insisted that it was his turn to be Schlitterbahned (yeah, I made that one up; seems to fit, though).

No good can come of this awkward angle!

Unfortunately for him, he’s heavier than his bro, who couldn’t quite lift him straight in the air and toss him.

I didn’t think this would end well!

The result? My #2 son ended up in the water under the tube instead of still in it. Of course, his loving brother was totally chagrined.

The older laughs at the younger’s plight.

As if!

Water Hijinks

My #2 son’s wet self-portrait, taken in our swimming pool

My #2 son and I got into our backyard swimming pool for the first time this spring last weekend. He carried a big frisbee to play with, while I toted my Olympus Stylus Tough 6000, a sturdy camera that’s not afraid of water. Which comes in handy when you’re in a pool.

The serious underwater side of #2

Both of us had a great time using the Olympus. #2 had several self-absorbed moments when he felt compelled to take his self-portrait underwater (and did a great job!). Then the Mister climbed into the pool, and I took over the point and shoot.

#2 jumps high to snare the frisbee.

As the Mister threw the frisbee high into the air for the leaping #2 , I tried to photographically capture the outcome.

#2 flies through the air with the greatest of ease!

Of course, a point and shoot camera can never stop the action like a digital SLR. But I put the Olympus on its sport setting and worked on my timing, which means snapping the pic well before the action’s peak.

All that triple jump practice comes in handy!

#2 had a blast jumping off the spa and trying to corral the frisbee thrown by his dad before dropping into the pool.

Got air?

And I had just about as much fun capturing all his water hijinks!

No More School, No More Books, All the Teachers Have Happy Looks!

 

The #1 son's second-semester schoolwork

That’s all she wrote. Today is the last day of school. The #1 son, exempt from all his finals, went to school for about an hour. The #2 son only has a Spanish I final to take, and then he’s done. It’s the end of an era for #2, as he sheds his top dog middle-school status and becomes low man on the high school totem pole, playing opposite his big brother, who will be a big senior on campus.

I tried not to feel too nostalgic as I dropped the lazy #2 off at our neighborhood middle school (where “neighborhood” means less than a mile from our house) for the last time. I’m finishing up six straight years there, and it’s hard not to feel attached to a place that’s nurtured your kids, trying to get the best out of them and prepare them for high school. It’s the end of an era for me, too.

But I’m not going to miss those middle-school years at all. They involve too many hormonal kids who are too full of themselves for their own good. The #1 son’s three years of high school so far have been more on an even keel, with #1 being able to stay in his little world without a lot of hassles from kids who have nothing better to do than bully those who don’t fit in their same mold. I’m hoping for more of the same for both boys next year.

The #1 son is about to catch a disc thrown by the off-camera Mister.

Now it’s summer! Which means early-morning summer conditioning at the high school for #2, working at dad’s business for #1 (very reluctantly!), and several trips. Oh, and there no doubt will be plenty of splashing in our backyard pool!

The #2 son reaches for the disc as he splashes into the pool.

Every year the boys like to invent new games to play in the pool. So far this year, discs have been all the rage. They’ve set up the portable backyard disc golf baskets so they can try to throw the discs into it from the pool. Monday they had a blast trying to catch discs thrown by the Mister as they jumped into the pool. Timing is everything!

The #1 son tries to grab before he splashes. Is he walking on the water?

#2 also is trying to perfect the walking-on-water trick!

As for me, I’ll be doing my best to enjoy every minute of not having to make lunches every morning, scurry kids out the door on time, and help complete projects at the last minute. “No more school, no more books, all the moms have happy looks!”

Well, at least until mid-August!